Hope someone looks at me like that one day

I’m fascinated by cemeteries. And not in a goth/oh I’m so complicated/look at me way. I’ve worked in the death industry and my mother has for 20 years. She taught me cemeteries are about respect, love, memories, etc. Beautiful, wonderful feelings and expressions. The way society shows respect for those who have died says a great deal about how they view life.

Over the weekend I was in Vienna visiting my best friend as she was there for work. Being in Europe it’s easy to pop over for a few days (which in and of itself is insane but I digress). The last full day while she was working I decided to track down Beethoven’s grave. This cemetery was one of the most beautiful places I had ever seen. 

The creativity of using mixed mediums, e.g. granite and bronze on the same memorial, the various statues, the humor (Auf Weidersehen on a cross, I couldn’t stifle my laughter), the woman working on restoring the gold lettering, it all left me speechless. And further evidence that I’m a massive weirdo, but I walked around with such a smile on my face just taking it all in. 

I hope one day that someone looks at me the way this woman is looking at the man. I didn’t feel sadness when I saw this, I saw love and reflection. 

But with this one, I saw complete and total heartbreak. Which in and of itself was beautiful in a way.


Think before speaking 

A lesson my mom taught me as a young child was that your words impact other people. 30 years later it still holds up. 

Please think before you speak because you have no idea what the person on the receiving end has been through. Sure it might be a bit p.c. overkill but what the hell is wrong with just having some consideration for what other people may have experienced. Especially because you will never know all there is to know about the person sitting across from you. 

Then again maybe I just don’t think sexual assault is funny. Happy to always be in the minority on that. 

It is happening again

I miss conversation. I’m tend to get excited and passionate then instantly wish to share and discuss with someone to see if they experience the same or have a different perspective. 

I can’t seem to find people who want to talk. Social media is only shouting where all we become are receptacles of information. No one converses. We just say/shout facts or opinions.  No real, honest debate or discussion because people don’t actually interact with one another. Plus it’s easy to be a jerk when you have the safety of a screen and animinity rather than putting yourself out there in an honest way. 

Was life easier and honest before the internet? Probably. But then again it seems to be the only way to meet people and the only outlet I have to discuss anything with anyone. Even if it’s just sitting here having a discussion with no one behind a screen. 

Dr. Albert Schweitzer was right 

Men simply don’t think. 

To hell with your selfish insensitive ass! You never think about your actions or other people. I thought we had a connection, too many similarities, this had to be something more. What an idiot. I cared and you cared nothing in return.  Never once asked me how I was when I reached out to you at a time I needed someone the most…I hoped you would be there for me like I would always be there for you. Fuck hope.

Fuck you and you leading me on. Then don’t contact me, don’t be in my bed, don’t hold my hand, don’t send me pictures, don’t tell me you miss me! I said I was fine if this was nothing and you convinced me otherwise. Just to reject me. Fuck hope.

Fuck your journey. Cry to someone else when you’re angry, lonely, depressed. I’m sure I wasn’t the only “friend” around, guess I just hoped I was. Fuck hope. The most evil mistress there is in this two-bit town. 

Quickly opinions change

Last week someone complained to me how Britain was becoming “so American” in its reaction to terrorism by letting its emotions come to the forefront, by over reacting, by making a big spectacle of it all. 

Today that same person preached about sending specific ethnic groups “back where they came from”, advocating violence, and that I am lucky to be a citizen now (anti-immigration rant). 

Didn’t bother to point out the multiple examples of irony in all of this…it’s just not worth the energy. You can’t reason with anger when combined with ignorance.  

What a fun way to start the work week…

Surreal Saturday – League of Nations

Yesterday I met up with a Lithuanian friend I met on the internet.  That alone is an odd statement I did not expect to ever write, but that has pretty much been routine since living abroad Рunexpected randomness.  Anyways, she was dog sitting and invited me to come see the creatures as everyone who interacts with me is aware of my fondness for fluffy animals of all shapes and sizes.

A short while later I found myself at a home of some lovely Turkish Cypriots. ¬†I spent the afternoon with the forementioned people of those respected nationalities along with a Czech and 1 English person. ¬†It felt incredibly surreal to spend my Saturday afternoon around all these interesting and different people. ¬†Never when I was back in the country of my birth would I have guess I would spend an afternoon like that. ¬†Immigration is so important (ok I might be biased being an immigrant and all). ¬†For us all to talk, share our perspectives, to break bread (literally) with people from other lands brings me so much joy and makes everyone’s lives so much richer for the experience. I could go on an anti-anti-immigration rant but¬†I’m still in a good mood from yesterday, the sun is setting behind my back and is reflecting through my kitchen, so I’m content.

Also I saw a group of about 10 rabbits hoping around when I was on the train journey home. Adorable.








Don’t know what I’m really doing here…that’s actually simple and straight forward, not meant to be read into. But of course can obviously contain hidden meaning and can apply to pretty much every situation of my life. I’m completely happy if no one reads these things. I just merely need somewhere to jot down my thoughts as I rarely have a writing implementat about and hell, everyone loves the internet right?